cookie crumbs

2011-08-21T01:26:00.002+08:00

They say I'm happier.

Sometimes I wonder. Am I? Really?

It's times like this that I hate myself.

2011-02-27T05:25:00.000+08:00

Everything's just spinning out of control.
I don't know how much more i can take.

2010-07-31T05:54:00.002+08:00

to hell with you. i did what was right, and personally, i'm proud of myself.
i know others who are, too.

2010-06-28T07:37:00.000+08:00

TUMBLR!

now using tumblr instead ;D

2010-06-25T17:49:00.001+08:00

hide-and-seek <3

2010-06-20T20:45:00.000+08:00

CRAP I'M MC TMRW. GAHHHHHH!

2010-06-18T09:45:00.001+08:00

i'm off to ipoh for the day -.-'
goodbye, people!

2010-06-17T12:07:00.002+08:00

watching spain play yesterday, was awful. disappointing. i wanted to tear my hair out. i closed my eyes, i couldn't bear to watch. i was in PHYSICAL PAIN every time they missed. and when switzerland scored that goal, i was gonna burst into tears. i mean, WHAT HAPPENED, SPAIN? WHAT HAPPENED?! you're one of the greatest teams out there, and a loss to switzerland is not something i would've expected. to better teams like brazil, or smth, i would've understood. but this, i can't comprehend.

i'm not gonna defend them, and say that they played well, cause they didn't. they had so many chances, but they squandered them all. 15+ shots on target, and NOT A SINGLE GOAL. when alonso kicked that ball, and it ALMOST went in, i could've CLAWED MY EYES OUT. what the hell was wrong?! and that goal by switzerland? that was FRIGGING BAD DEFENDING. gahhhhh.

20 minutes to the end of the game, i couldn't bear watching anymore. i switched of the tv, and i didn't wanna care anymore. it didn't help that SOME PEOPLE were trying to rub it in. it just made me even more pissed.

but well, whatever. spain's still has my support. they'll get back up, i know. and they'll win the cup! bring out fabregas and torres, they'll do a heck of a job!

go spain! :)

2010-06-16T11:28:00.002+08:00

once, this little boy went out to the garden, and he saw this little butterfly. he thought, 'it's so pretty! i must catch it!' slowly, he lured the butterfly nearer to him, and he catches it with his net. while examining it, another butterfly flies past, a brighter-coloured one, perhaps. and the boy is left thinking, 'that one's prettier! i want that one instead!' so, he goes off to catch that one, and the other butterfly is left abandoned. it might seem free, but its wings are broken now, and it can't fly. it's left reeling in pain and fear. fear to ever fly, in case its ever caught again. and maybe, it can't fly. not anymore.

2010-06-16T10:47:00.002+08:00

my dad's watching the brazil vs north korea match, and seriously,
michael bastos looks a bit like michael jackson :O

brazil vs north korea

2010-06-16T04:01:00.001+08:00

that first goal seemed impossible O_O
from riiiiiight at the side, and suddenly, GOAL! ;D WOOH! ;)

so here i am, awake, at 2.30am, which is what i've been doing ever since world cup started. and yeah, i agree with jannah. THIS WORLD CUP IS BORING D; the matches are like, so dull. no one's playing at their best, it just makes it so painful to watch. UGHHHH.

well, at least brazil's playing awesomely. honestly, this is the first match that i've watched that made me go bored halfway. from what i've watched lar. but still -.-

spain's match tmrw! weeeee! :D confirm win :)

2010-06-14T17:51:00.003+08:00

reminder:

just keep smiling.

SUNWAY OUTING

2010-06-11T18:22:00.002+08:00

here i go:

we (jab, lynn, evo and i) were supposed to meet up with the chess gang (sehran, hazwan and hari) at tgv cinemas' ticketing counter at 10.30. well, we got lost, so we came late :P and us, being well, us, as soon as we reached, we immediately (sort of) started arguing about the movie time -.-' turns out, i was right. sehran was wrong :D soon after, minnie arrived :) TYPICAL. he spent most of his time teasing me about my height -.-

and then, we walked to the skating rink. on the way, minnie and evo split, to have some private time :) they haven't seen each other in months, anyway. they deserve it :) so, yeah. oh btw, we had to split from lynn and jab at speedy, so i was stuck with the chess gang. yeeeeppp. and that means loads of annoying insults -.-' so i was already quite annoyed at the beginning of the day. psh.
once we reached, turns out leek was already there :) and in the end, we decided not to ice skate, because it was too expensive. 21 BUCKS ENTRY FEE. 8 BUCKS FOR GLOVES, 5 FOR SOCKS. WTH? -.-

and yeah, with nothing to do, we walked around aimlessly for quite some time. until we stopped by popular bookstore, and blablabla. and yeah, we met andrew here :) yes, andrew. i was on the phone. and i was annoyed cause some people weren't picking up -.- oh and at this point, if you realised, when you look down from outside popular, there's actually this charity thing, where you run for charity or something. the announcer was announcing everything, and hazwan, hari and sehran were just standing there watching. so, the announcer was like, YOU GUYS UP THERE! DON'T JUST STAND AND WATCH! COME DOWN AND PARTICIPATE! blablabla -.- psh. DAMN FUNNY! they actually ran from that spot (kind of) XD

after a LONG argument about lunch, we decided on subway. where hazwan's order got misplaced, and he had to line up AGAIN after waiting 10 mins :P
*bad things'll happen to bad people :D

after that, walked around aimlessly again. then, we stopped by baskin robbins to get ice cream. i got myself cookies and cream :D wee! :D we were sitting in split tables, and as we were eating, a lady came and campaigned for a charity thingy to the chess gang. haha, it seemed kinda funny at that time, so i took pictures XD haha. thinking that she might target us next, we tried our best to squeeze so there was no space for her to sit. turns out she still came anyway. -.-' leek immediately spoke in tamil -.-' ass. she asked if we spoke english. leek was like, melayu tamil cina cina cina (jab, evo, me, lynn and himself) -.-' and she asked if we spoke english. to which, sadly, we awkwardly said yes. and leek asked her 'HOW OLD ARE YOU?' -.-' psh. and typical of us, we tend to embarass ourselves right? leek dropped ice cream on his pants (near his you-know-what) and that lady actually asked him 'do you need a tissue?' XD haha! we started laughing like crap XD haha. basically, i think we kinda annoyed her. and embarassed her. :D

then, went to the arcade. where FOR THE FIRST TIME, i actually played :D racing :D got last, of course. but still! :D and GUESS WHUT GUESS WHUT? this is awesome! i was walking, and i bumped into this guy. and then, i felt him staring at me. so, i stared back. he was hot :D and he looked so familiar :O i could feel that he recognised me as well -.-' he had that kind of look :P haha. HEEEEEEE :D gila hot seh :)

so, yeah. we were late for the movie -.-' it was quite funny. but i really can't remember much about it, just that i made hari become shrek, ashman became puss, and i christened hazwan, RUMPLESTILTSKIN. THEY ARE SO ALIKE! ;P 'nobody is as smart as ME!' :P

hm. after the movie, we walked around aimlessly some more. and WE SAW THAT GUY AGAIN. this time, i made kind of a huge fuss, until everyone knows :P haha. sehran was like 'IS HE TALLER THAN ME?' 'YEP!' 'HOW DARE HE?!' XD haha. frigging sehran and his theory -.- 'jas has a secret admirer' -.- haha, plus, evo admits he's hot :D

so, yeah. after that, we shopped for SOMETHING. and after that, we went to take pictures at the photo booth, cause our gang don't really have any pics with the FOUR of us together. so, yeah. it was stupid -.- rush rush rush. pose. rush. pose. yell for the guys. RUSH. etc etc. and then, the chess gang had to leave (forgot to mention. leek and andrew left earlier) and then, editing the pics. that was gay. it was so kelam-kabut. and yeaaaah. choosing the pics? KELAM-KABUT, again. until we left out 2 nice pics, and got a horrid one instead -___-

overall, it was quite okay. just for some misunderstandings at some point.
i quite enjoyed myself.

donkey: you're a CAT-ASTROPHE!
puss: you're RE-DONKEY-LOUS!

:D

sunway outing

2010-06-10T22:51:00.002+08:00

too tired to blog about it. some other time, maybe?

2010-06-02T14:49:00.001+08:00

like father,
"50 bucks is nothing!" - mr. kumaresan

like son,
"COME ON, GET REAL!" - haritharan a/l kumaresan

:D hee :D

ps; i've created a tumblr acc. basically, i'll be posting the same things there, maybe some extra, maybe some less. feel free to visit :)

2010-05-28T20:18:00.001+08:00

oh and thank you to KEVIN too :D

2010-05-28T16:34:00.002+08:00

hari, sarah, and ?? (i know who you are),

thanks a bunch! i love you guys :)

dear -.-'

GET LOST.

2010-05-27T00:24:00.000+08:00

gahhhh, i smell something burning.

oh, wait. it's just my brain.

2010-05-21T15:08:00.000+08:00

uncle, i'll miss you :(

i'll miss your jokes,

i'll miss your stories,

i'll miss you randomly buying me stuff,

i'll miss your voice,

i'll miss you :(

the last time i saw you, i didn't even manage to say goodbye.

you always said that you wanted to see me graduate.

to see me work and save people's lives,

you wanted to see me succeed.

why did you stop fighting?

don't you know, i miss you?

i didn't get to tell you this; but just so you know, i love you.

2010-05-17T12:18:00.001+08:00

i was supposed to go to sch today. in fact, i was LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.

woke up today morning, bathed, had my breakfast, etc.
then, my mum suddenly had a fit, and decided that SHE'S NOT GONNA SEND ME TO SCH TODAY -.-'
and she practically locked me in the house. GAH! :(

i wanna go to sch so badly :(

2010-05-16T17:56:00.001+08:00

for a minute, i thought i was strong.
if i am, why am i breaking down again?

i guess i was wrong.

i hate hitz.fm ;(

2010-05-16T16:35:00.002+08:00

why is it that the radio stations are playing all the sad songs today? ;(

2010-05-15T05:19:00.001+08:00

to my 3 darlings,
thanks for everything,
without you, i don't know where i'd be right now.

thanks for always being there for me;
for lending me your shoulder, for me to cry on;
for trying. always trying. to make me smile, when i don't feel like it;
for making me see;
for laughter;
for caring. so much;
and for giving me the greatest gift of all: your friendship, and your love :)

you guys mean the world to me :)

2010-05-14T04:14:00.000+08:00

i don't wanna know
if you're playing me, keep it on the low
cause my heart can't take it anymore
and if you're creepin, please don't let it show
oh baby, i don't wanna know

2010-05-13T18:29:00.002+08:00

it was raining just now.

maybe the sky's feeling the way i do.

2010-05-13T17:44:00.000+08:00

if you're trying to hurt m,. i'll give you my congratulations. you're succeeding. tremendously.

can you be any crueler?

2010-05-13T06:02:00.002+08:00

silence.

that's all i hear. that's all there is.

2010-05-10T18:10:00.003+08:00

every time we talk, i wish i could tell you what i really want to say. instead of holding back everything :/

2010-05-10T16:33:00.001+08:00

to think i was happy.

crushed hopes and broken dreams;
that was a slap in the face.

2010-05-10T15:42:00.000+08:00

my body's aching all over. i was so tired, so sleepy, in sch today. i think most of the prefects were the same. theeb, hari and i kept falling asleep in zuhriah's class -.- and i slept throughout add math, although mr. ashman raziuddin was busy trying to bug me. this definitely shows how tired i was :O

2010-05-09T21:47:00.002+08:00

i'm exhausted. my body's aching. i'm terribly sleepy.
overall, it was fun :)

2010-05-06T22:56:00.002+08:00

currently, packing for camp :)

2010-05-06T18:30:00.000+08:00

celebrated shman's birthday. we had an early celebration, for two reasons:
so that ashman won't suspect much, and because next week is really close to exam :O

so yeah. we went to domino's. it was so easy to get ashman to follow us. i just told him that 'shmannn, later, lynn and i are going to 7 eleven to get slurpees. hazwan, sehran and andrew are coming too.' i didn't even get to finish my sentence, and shman just cut in, saying 'go 7 eleven tak ajak me la now? fine, fineee' and MISSION ACCOMPLISHED ;D and to think that we were fretting over it so much -.-' evo couldn't come though, same goes to sehran and andrew :( lynn and jannah wanted to go back and change before coming, so they went off in lynn's car. so, i walked with hazwan, ashman and hari. again, the only girl among the guys. freaks -.- ashman kept saying 'wow, jas. you actually trust us? what if we do something to you?' or something of the sort -.- damn gay mannn -.-' but i'm already used to hanging out with them, so yeah -_-

when we reached d'bayu, hazwan turned on ashman and said something like, 'shman, we're not going to 7 eleven. we're celebrating your birthday!' and we pushed shman all the way into domino's XD soon, lynn, jannah and leek came. when the pizza came, we sang 'happy birthday' to the birthday boy :D REAL LOUDLY. we were supposed to sing for ashman, then jannah, then leek, but turns out we only did it for ashman. cause, people actually joined in when we sang (the place was full of students -.- ) also, we had toast, chinese-style. you knowww, the yaaaaam seng thingy? XD we had to do it twice, since the first time failed. everyone was laughing XD especially the hazwan and ashman, since it was their first time, i think XD we were all trying to cover face, it was agak embarassing -.-

gave ashman his present. there, i wrote a note saying 'happy birthday, shman! here's something that looks exactly like you!' XD when he found out that the doo doo doll's name is blur blur, he was like, WHY ME? ISN'T IT SUPPOSED TO BE PENG?! (leek) haha XD
also, lynn poured out TWO packets of chilli flakes on ashman's slice of pizza, siao. :D

then, walked back home. someone actually got another someone to buy her an ice cream -.-' mengadaaa. everyone was rushing, and i was left behind with ashman, who was having tummy pain because he ate too much -___-

prefects meeting. lateeeee. evo was pissed at me :(
tmrw's camp, yaaaay! :)

2010-05-05T17:40:00.002+08:00

'i'm a bug magnet, mann!'
- lynn

:)

2010-05-05T14:40:00.000+08:00

today?

i'm ;(

sick. flu, cough, sore throat. horrid :(
people keep misunderstanding my being quiet as being emo -.-' i'm not, i'm just sick. talking makes my throat hurt :(

so, yeah. other than that, i'm okay :)
i'm happy :)

just one thing though; am i in denial? :/

2010-05-03T18:07:00.002+08:00

now everything's in a mess again.
i don't know what to do. step to the left, or step to the right.
i just wish life were simple,
and there were rewind buttons for every mistake that you would make.

i'm sorry, but i get emotional easily.

2010-05-03T00:42:00.002+08:00

i'm smiling, and i'm laughing. that means i'm back to being myself :)

2010-05-02T14:35:00.002+08:00

jas, jas. you like to hurt yourself even more, don't you?

2010-05-02T07:18:00.006+08:00

i was happy. I WAS HAPPY.
one moment i was happy. the next i was just crushed.

well, i guess i should thank you for that. you made me realise.

i wish you knew what you've done.

i wish i could just tell you.

i wish i didn't have to see you

i wish i could just stop.

stop crying. stop caring.

god, can you please, for once, grant me my wishes? i'm hurt. i don't know what to do about it, cause there really isn't nothing i can do. these tears just keep coming, it seems like they just don't wanna stop. so, please?

better yet, please turn back time.

jas, you stupid, naive little girl. you always make the same mistake. always. when are you ever gonna learn?!
i know, i know. why am i always the fool?

i always say to myself, 'i won't be so stupid the next time'. yeah, right. time and time again, i let my stupidity take over me. i think with my heart, and i don't think with my mind. somehow, i just never learn. now, this is what i get, for not listening to advice.

i wish i could talk to someone about it. but i can't. and, i know what people will say. and i just don't wanna hear those words of advice. i just need time. i'm done with this. i'm done. i'm done.

the laptop screen is just a blur. i can't even see what i'm typing anymore.
my eyes are swollen from crying.

i wish these tears would just stop falling.
i've cried so much, there shouldn't be any tears anymore.

lynn says that crying makes her feel better. alas, i don't feel the same way.

lets just say that i cried myself to sleep last night

and the tears are still falling, even now.

2010-05-01T23:05:00.001+08:00

looks like i just got fooled again.
it's times like this that i wish i could just go back to hurting myself.
instead of letting others hurt me.
i might as well but a sticker on my forehead that says, 'hey, i'm real easy to fool.'

2010-05-01T22:14:00.000+08:00

this is hard.

am i making the right choice, or am i not?
everyone seems to be against it, but i don't know why.

should i follow my instincts, my emotions, or listen to others?
i just don't wanna be hurt again :/

sometimes i just wish my heart was made out of stone.

2010-05-01T13:59:00.002+08:00

i'm having bruises at my leg, the part where sehran/ashman's knee hit me yesterday. :(

2010-05-01T08:11:00.001+08:00

the moon's so bright nowadays,
it's just so beautiful to watch, to look at.

sometimes i wish that i could sit and watch it all night, with someone sitting beside me,
it gets so lonely sometimes.
hm. i wonder, if i make a wish, will it come true?

come on, jas. quit daydreaming already. it won't happen.

2010-04-30T14:04:00.000+08:00

YESTERDAY
1.after recess yesterday, everyone rushed to the physics lab. O_O he was LATE. very, very late :O and we were talking about 'later each person cane him once' XD haha. turns out, he DIDN'T COME. when someone announced it, the whole class was like, YES! haha! ;D

2. during siv and add math, ashman, hari, lynn, elora and i, practiced our eng oral. as usual, we'll be doing DRAMA ;D heee. this time, it's about a murder investigation. i'm acting as hari's bussiness partner, hari's the victim AND ashman's assistant, ashman's the detective, lynn if hari's girlfriend, and elora's the owner of a gun shop and also lynn's maid.
interesting, no? :)

3. permainan dalaman yesterday was quite boring :/ i didn't do anything, mostly watched the guys play. and history was made: andrew actually made TRIPLE PAWNS. :O WOWWWW.

TODAY
1. football! this time, the teams were: ashman, hari and andrew in a team, and jannah, me, hazwan and sehran in the other. the end result? 2-2. again. hazwan and i scored for our team :) I SCORED A GOAL, PAST ANDREW AND HARI! ;D YAY! ;D there were loads of accidents -.- pft. eg: jannah and ashman terlanggar and fell, andrew tripped over jannah, jannah kicking the ball into sehran's uh, dick? and me running into some VERY SKINNY PEOPLE. ashman, sehran, hazwan. skinny people have SHARP BONES. when you run into them, you get HURT. very hurt. owwww.
plus, lovegrass. lots and lots of lovegrass. gr.

2. english oral. our drama was a success :) apart from some parts, like the part where i LAUGHED when hari died, the whole thing was awesome :) zee got a huge shock when ashman suddenly slammed the table :O i wish i could've seen. haha, and guess what the name of the gun was? DEFIANCE 3. AWESUM XD haha! one thing i learned, sweat + air cond = NO GOOD. we were sweating terribly, and we went into the library for the oral thingy. and we were dammit cold. shman was shaking terribly and his teeth were chattering -_- freezing :/
the worst part is, I DIDN'T GET TO RECORD THE PART WHERE HARI AND I WERE ACTING MENGADA :( hari was blocking the camera :( it was funny, and i didn't get it :( it was the part where hari and i say 'PERFECT!' together, and we go 'OOOOH SSSSST' like in hannah montana :)
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW :(

p.s. someone's going for a chess tournament tmrw. i wish i could join :(

2010-04-28T20:46:00.001+08:00

the moon, it's pretty tonight :)
it's shining so brightly :O

i wonder. if i make a wish tonight, will it come true? ;/

2010-04-26T16:06:00.000+08:00

can i please take back what i said?
can i please take back what i did?
can i please turn back the time?
can things go back to the way they were?

and life says, 'no, no, no and no.'

2010-04-26T15:50:00.001+08:00

1. mikhail came late today, and his reason? "hari yang indah" :O haha XD

2. ghost stories

3. lynn, hari and evo asking the EXACT same question [jaaaaaaaaaaaaaas, you don't like ...... do you?] wth -.-

4. prefects meeting. hazwan suggested me for ajk for games, for the sake of it. i suggested him for ajk persembahan, and hari for ajk sponsor. and all of us got it. evo's ajk hotel, with kamal.

5. hari and shman kept talking about me being obsessed with chess. totally lupa daratan (is that correct?) who's more obsessed huh? :P

6. letting out everything that i've bottled up for the past year.

as i'm writing this, i'm trying to remember those times that i was happy today. the times that i laughed, that i enjoyed myself. somehow those moments seem so far now. it's just been a short while, and my emotions just took a u-turn, and i'm stuck in this sadness again. i just wanna regain that feeling of being happy again. please? i don't wanna feel depressed again. this happens so often. it comes and then it goes, and it leaves me being confused in its midst. people don't realise it, cause i always cover it up. i'm thinking back of those happier moments today, and how am i reacting? a bitter laugh. i feel so bitter nowadays, it doesn't seem like me. i was happy. i was someone who laughed all the time, who could always see the better side of things. where did that part of me go? between now and then, i've changed. little by little. these emotions, i've hidden deep inside me, locked them away. the regret. the pain. the lost. mostly, the regret. the 'i shouldn't have, i shouldn't have' 'it was a mistake.' and now, they're resurfacing. i never should've brought it up, never should've mentioned it. it just brings back the memories.

i think i'm gonna go give myself a good cry now.

2010-04-25T17:09:00.000+08:00

shman, i am NOT obsessed. NOT OBSESSED. not yet, anyway. i'm just ON THE VERGE XD
and i don't think i can go :(

and whut 'keep it up', huh? :P

2010-04-25T10:42:00.000+08:00

haziq,

us here, we miss you too. loads. we miss all the times we've shared with you. everything we've been through together. but you're in a better place now, so come on, head up, haziq! :) be strong! you know we're always right beside you, every step of the way :)

2010-04-24T17:39:00.000+08:00

was talking to hazwan just now. he kinda admitted that yes, he did get me into chess. i told him that i wanted to join the chess tournament next saturday, and he said something like 'i didn't know our influence was so strong!' which means, he ADMITS that he DID get me into chess! i mentioned it to him, and he was like 'ahha but it's a draw already' *laughing* -.-'
still. this shows that i could've won! i was just TOO NICE ;D and hazwan was just too lucky -.-

gr. i can't install the chessmaster cd on my pc :( GAH :(

2010-04-23T22:40:00.000+08:00

seriously, the pidm thingy REALLY makes me appreciate cash. it's like, every time i've gotta pay for something, i go 'CRAP! THERE GOES MY CASH!' :(

currently: RM222,194.00

2010-04-23T19:16:00.000+08:00

results for the argument of jas vs hazwan:
a draw. :D

this was serious funny. hazwan's keyboard wasn't working. so he couldn't type 'I WIN' XD couldn't type spaces, and couldn't type Ns :D haha. i won, but i offered him a draw, cause it was quite luck-ish the way i won XD
so, it ends here. a draw :D
hee (:

2010-04-23T18:50:00.000+08:00

today morning, hari, hazwan evo and i helped tch to take down the curtains from 1 beta, so hari and i managed to skip chem, and evo and hazwan managed to skip physics :D by the time we were done, there was only 20 minutes left, so evo played chess against hari, and i played against hazwan. and here's the shocking thing: HARI LOST TO EVO. AND, I WON AGAINST HAZWAN! ;D shockingggggg. hazwan lost a FREE bishop and in evo and hari's game, hari blundered his queen :O actually, the game between hazwan and i didn't get to finish up our game, but hazwan ADMITTED that he was losing. he's denying it now, but dear hazwan, you DID admit. hee ;)

after that, football :) evo, hazwan, sehran, zafri and me were in a team, and hari, ashman, jannah and andrew were in the other. and, our team lost. 4-1. lol. ashman scored a hat-trick :O and haha, i realised something. guys don't dare to snatch the ball from girls, no matter how easy it might be XD there was a time where andrew could've taken the ball from me so easily, but he backed off XD haha :)

prefects meeting at 3. i hate datin, that's all i have to say.

overall, today was quite fun :)

ps: hari was talking to BIRDS. 'OI TALK LAH' XD

2010-04-22T18:11:00.001+08:00

YESTERDAY.
talking about neopets and pokemons and OTHER STUFFS with lynn, ashman, hari, and kuok fung.
kuok fung told us that defiance once named himself LAURENCE, and mdm ho said that he has an identity crisis.
rehearsal for hari anugerah cemerlang. chess-ed.
argued with hazwan. :D
(it was a HUGGGGGGEE argument okay? -.- it went on and on and on, from the dewan to the class and all the way when we were walking out of school. oh and it was LOUDDDDDD. there was loads of shouting, NO! I WON! YOU LOST! and ADMIT IT ALREADY, YOU LOST. COME ON LAH -.-' etc etc LAWL) -.-

TODAY
chemistry. WHAT THE CRAP DOES FIRDAYU HAVE AGAINST ME?!
physics. got rotan-ed cause we were late. ughh.
hosting thingy.

permainan dalaman- hazwan, sehran and andrew bought DOMINOS :O haha. i DIPAKSA oleh everyone to eat a piece -.-' siao. played against shman, mior, his friend, and sehran. OBVIOUSLY, i lost to ashman. what i didn't expect was to lose so terribly. i think most of the game went on with me repeating deep down, OW. OW OW OW. lesson learned: NEVER EVER play with ashman ever again. not until i'm ready. which will be a LONG LONG LONG LONG LONG time from now. it really pissed me off that i lost so terribly -.- gr. i hereby promise to never play with ashman ever again. and shman, stop saying that i bully people. you bullied me. heh :P
won against mior. won against his friend, TWICE (: won against sehran :D WEEEEEEEEEEE! :)
*tergila-gila happy*
then, we played TRIPLE CHESS. first time :O the two people on the side pass their taken? pieces to the middle person, and middle person passes their again, taken? pieces to either side of the table. their choice. it was beta vs epsilon, which means, hari, ashman and me vs sehran, hazwan and andrew. i can't remember the final result, cause the main thing i remember is loads of yellings of 'PIECES, I NEED PIECES!' haha XD

plus, the argument/ debate between me and hazwan isn't over yet. stay tuned. and dear hazwan, YOU LOST. GIVE UPPP! ;D

2010-04-20T18:44:00.000+08:00

stuck in this situation and i'm not happy with it. it's getting better now, but there's still a long way to go.

thanks to lynn, jannah and evo. because of them, i feel a slight bit of this being carried off my shoulders. laughing helps, it really helps. thank god we always laugh the crap outta ourselves :)

2010-04-18T13:25:00.002+08:00

i wish i could take back everything i said and did. i wish this never happened. i wish things would go back to normal.

i wish i wasn't stuck in this situation.

2010-04-17T10:48:00.000+08:00

O________O

wow, shman. wowwwwwww O.o

from 'LOW JUN JIAN, GRRRRR.' to this XD

plus, what happened to the ashman that we knew, huh?

the noisy, sarcastic one?

2010-04-14T17:43:00.002+08:00

basically:
lynn didn't come today, so i spent the whole day with haraye and kuok fung :D

2010-04-13T20:09:00.000+08:00

updates (!)
skipped sch, went to sjmc today, to uh, check on my ankle since it's been giving me problems this past week. and yeah, the fractured one. took an xray and guess whut? the results: MY FRACTURE IS FULLY HEALED! i can do ANYTHING i want :D haha! and the problems are caused by nerves, which will wear off. yay! :D

ashman and hazwan are currently in sabak bernam, competing in the chess msss. i kinda miss those two :/

i'm so lazy to go to sch tmrw. and windows live messenger isn't working! :( i can't sign in :( the thingy just keeps going round and round and round and round and it doesn't stop :(
GR.

2010-04-12T15:53:00.002+08:00

are you gonna stay with the one who loves you

or are you going back to the one you love?

someone's gonna cry when they know they've lost you

someone's gonna thank their stars aboveeee

the night before life goes on :)

2010-04-10T11:12:00.000+08:00

i'm bored, so:
:D

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS, NO CHEATING!
4. Tag as many friends as you want!
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
fight for this love - cheryl cole

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
uprising - muse

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
sos - jonas brothers

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

battlefield - jordin sparks

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
lonely - britney spears

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
dreaming with a broken heart - john mayer

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
broken man - boys like girls

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
barriers - david archuleta

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
mama do - pixie lott

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
home - chris daughtry

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND/s?
tim mcgraw - taylor swift

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

everything you're not - demi lovato

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
ignorance - paramore

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

lucky - jason mraz

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
should've said no - taylor swift

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
come back to me - utada

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
love drunk - boys like girls

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?

no promises - shayne ward

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
naturally - selena gomez

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
baby one more time - britney spears

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
nothing in this world - paris hilton

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?

the night before life goes on - carrie underwood

lawl. some are agak accurate :O

i'm tagging:
lynn, jannah, evo, haraye, andrew, shman. this'll help revive SOME of your blogs!

2010-04-09T16:48:00.002+08:00

i just woke hari up from his beauty sleep. -.-'
i feel horrid.

hari, it's destiny XD destiny wants me to wake you up :D HAHA! ;D

2010-04-09T15:21:00.002+08:00

i practically spent my whole day with haraye, digging stuff from each other and laughing retardedly :D

2010-04-08T20:58:00.000+08:00

hm. today?

1. english oral. we did a drama about HAIR. XD totally spontaneous. we only planned it 10 minutes before our presentation. and yet, we did well :D lemme break it down:
- i make fun of lynn's hair XD she sees a commercial (elora) for 'ashman's hair spa' on tv, and tries it out, and shman ruins her hair XD
- i meet lynn after the disaster and make fun of her
- she goes back, watches a commercial about 'hari's hair spa' and goes to try it out, again. hari makes her hair awesome :D
this was supposed to be the end, actually. but after the scene, shman got an idea:
- i meet lynn, and she shows off her hair to me. i ask her where she got her treatment and everything, and she tells me 'ASHMAN'S HAIR SPA'. haha. so i go to ashman's hair spa, and of course, my hair gets ruined. -.-' shman seriously messes up people's hair -.-
- meet lynn AGAIN. and have HUGE ARGUMENT XD
haha teacher told us, that shman was trying to say 'THE END' many many many many times, but couldn't. cause lynn and i were still arguing XD

2. i actually brought my chess set for the first time, and ashman, hari, sehran, andrew, and hazwan were all "OMG YOU BROUGHT YOUR CHESS SET?!" siao. CRAZY.

3. some lucky freak doesn't have to do his peka :( hari and i are suffering cause we have to do it :(

2010-04-07T17:30:00.002+08:00

outta my

get outta my head

2010-04-06T21:07:00.001+08:00

i got my phone back. one one condition, i can't spend more than 50 bucks per month :(
sighhh. or else, my phone'll be confiscated :( ah well.

i'm so tired, and i haven't done my bio peka.
i'm so tired out from sitting on the roads, walking around, bending down and sneaking to see the guys - hazwan/hari/shman/andrew or whichever one of them who was STILL playing, after i was done - play.
i'm having a massive headache too :(
i'm sure i'm gonna be sick tmrw. i sense flu coming. i've been sneezing since just now. GAH :(

chess tournament mssd, day 2

2010-04-06T20:59:00.006+08:00

so, day 2.

we went there again, by van. the guys were in another car since today we went by a toyota something. a 7-seater, if i'm not mistaken. FOUR of us were stuck at the back. it was horrible. we couldn't even move a bit -.-' and thenn, out came a police truck. LOL WE GOT POLICE ESCORT XD what i mean is, we actually followed the police truck, right at the back. so, obviously, people had to MOVE OUT OF THE WAY XD haha! awesum :)

my first match of the day (5th round) went well.
i played against this chinese girl, and i won :D she resigned! :D
yay! :)
and LOL. she SERIOUSLY did ask about who teached me. i told her "GUYS UNDER 18 TEAM" XD haha! exactly like what shman and hari told me to say :D LAWL.

6th round
i lost :( boohoo.

7th round.
i WON ;D she brought out her queen to early in the game, so i kept attacking it. and in the end, i think she didn't see kot. i got her queen for free :D ahha, and thus. i won :)

so, altogether, i got 4 1/2 points out of 7 points. :)
hm. analysing my games, i found that i was always attacked first, whether i'm white or black. badddd. and i realised that 10 is my lucky number XD every time i sit at table number 10, i'll win :D

turns out, girls under 18 only had to play 7 matches. so, after the 7th match, ashman was being emo cause he lost to low jun jian, and he didn't wanna go with us to kfc, using the excuse "i'm tired!" we left shman, and after we got out of the school gate, andrew and i felt evil, cause he was sitting ALL ALONE :( so, as hazwan predicted, we went back. actually, we waited at the spot first. andrew and i made a deal, if hazwan and hari reached the end of the street and turned back for us, we would follow. but they didn't, so. we went to shman :/

all 3 of our guys, hari, ashman and hazwan, had to play against low jun jian. hari first, then ashman, then hazwan. UGH I HATE THAT GUY! HE HAS THIS COCKY LOOK WHICH MAKES ME WANNA SLAP HIM -.- plus, he has scary eyes. that time, he was playing against shman, and i was standing outside, past the barriers, watching their game. he looked up, and looked at me. i seriously got the creeps. :( his eyes are so scary :( seriously, if i'm playing against him, i WILL NOT ever look at his eyes. i'll freak out. hari, ashman and hazwan all lost to him :/ in a row. but what to do? he's a better player, i guess. and our guys made blunders. so,.. but it's alright :)
ahha. i would've loved to see someone defeat him. but i resolved to throwing pebbles at his leg while he was playing against hazwan XD

i'll always remember us crowding outside, past the barriers, watching any of our under 18 guys who haven't finished playing yet. giving sokongans :D
and hazwan, walking past me and giving encouragements.
this just plainly shouts - TEAM SPIRIT <3

guys under 18 results:

hari - 6 points

hazwan - 6 1/2 points (the 1/2 is from a draw with shman. obviously the draw was planned :D )

ashman - 6 1/2

andrew - 6 points

for girls under 18:

winnie: 8 points, OBVIOUSLY.

shaza: 5 1/2

amirah: 4 1/2

me: 4 1/2

and thus, winnie got 1st place, shaza got 5th, amirah got 11th and i got 12th!

ahha i'm really happy with my position. my FIRST tournament, and i got 12th out of 59 PEOPLE ;D yesh! :D andrew told me that he got number 20+ during his first tournament. plus, i only started chess-ing about LAST WEEK XD haha! :)

after that, prize-giving. while waiting for the thing to start, i was whining about 'i don't wanna be alone again on the way back' :( and so hazwan answered "but you have SUCH STRONG IMAGINATION". -.-' so i said "yeah, it's especially good for plotting revenges" and haha this was funny:
hazwan: jas IS scary O_O
HAHA XD

during the prize-giving ceremony, we were seriously the noisiest. we were cheering every time someone from our school was mentioned and had to go up the stage, which was quite a lot :D WE DOMINATED, ALRIGHT? :D

for guys under 18, frigging low jun jian got 1st place, hazwan got 3rd and ashman 4th. ashman's a frigg, he kept repeating "i can't believe i lost to HAZWAN", "3rd seeded and bla bla bla" -.-
and our guys under 18 got 2nd place, WOOT! ;D

girls under 15 and girls under 18 dominated as well :D both teams got 1ST PLACE ;D yesss! :D i'm so happy that i managed to contribute something, at least :)
when the guy announced "JOHAN - SMK BUKIT JELUTONG!" i was so estatic. I WANTED TO JUMP UP AND DOWN LIKE A MANIAC XD haha! i wanted to sprint up those steps, eventhough i knew that i didn't really contribute much. i was just so happy :) going up that stage to take the prize, with everyone else, was really really awesomeeee, sighh. i wish i could replay it over and over and over and over again :D

it's all thanks to you guys :)
i mean, those of you who supported me, took the time to show me and teach me, and those of you who were always by my side :)
-guys, you know i mean you :D
those who didn't, blargh. you know who you are.
:D

oh and LOOK:

my name is THERE! ;D

this was the pairing for girls under 18, round 6 :D

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :)

i <3 you guys for dragging me into this :D
ahha :P
this is my happiest win ever! :D

p.s. 10 is my lucky number :D every time i play at table 10, i surely win :O

oh and you guys, WHAT HAPPENED TO 'JAS CONFIRM TOP 10 MSSD?!' or are you guys TOO HAPPY with yourselves that you forgot about that? :P

2010-04-06T19:23:00.002+08:00

phone confiscated, cause my bill is over 90 bucks. WTH? HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!
so, please don't msg, call or anyth.

2010-04-05T21:55:00.001+08:00

hazwan: jas, just drink jas-tea, then you'll be jas fine XD LOL

2010-04-05T21:14:00.001+08:00

somehow i feel as though i've got OCD. not any normal OCD, but the one where people are so obsessed with storing up memories. i think i've got that :/
pathetic. GR.

so tired. i think i'm gonna sleep at 9.30 tonight.
WHERE'S HARI ANYWAY?!
supposed to wait for me but then went offline -.-

chess tournament mssd, day 1

2010-04-05T21:05:00.001+08:00

i needa draft this out first, when everything is fresh on my mind. i'll post it later :)

to lynn and jannah, if you read this LATER, i'm sorry for not telling you guys the truth earlier. i wanted to see your reaction, face-to-face :)

on the way there, the guys ABANDONED me. and left me to sit behind, between two people i barely know, irsalina and shaza. that made me even more nervous -.- because of the awkward silence between us, i had TOO much time to think. and as usual, my overactive imagination made me think of "if i lose if i lose if i lose...." crappy.

the funny thing is, i actually asked hari to slap shman. and he did. and then, i asked andrew. and andrew also did. i asked hazwan as well, and he also did. HAHA XD i actually meant, slap on the shoulder. but they actually slapped ashman's face XD haha. i remember hari saying "sorry la, don't cry" XD

oh okay, so. mssd.

as expected, ashman won every match. so 4/4 points :D I TOLD YOU SO ;D

buttttt, he got all the um. how should i put this? ah well. he got all the 'easy' people. who give away free rooks and etc. according to shman.

and AHHA i was about to betray shman if low jun jian was hot, but -.-' he isn't, so haha ;D i'm stuck with shman :P

okay. hari and hazwan also won all their games, and andrew won 3/4. our guys under 18 is HAVING THE TOP SPOT right now with 15/16 points! :D YESH! smk usj 12 is just 1 point behind us though, so the guys have gotta keep up their performance :)

ah well. my results:

1st round

ahha this was the funniest round. i was playing white. the both of us were first-timers so we were both nervous. i was thinking about hari and hazwan's face when shman and i pulled that prank on them, and they thought they'd lost to me. HAHA ;D and immediately, my nervousness kinda vanished. LOL. my opponent's hand was shaking. haha :P and I WON ;D yesh! :) i was estatic. my FIRST game, and i won :D

YAY!

2nd round

this round sucked. i made a horrible blunder. and she took my queen :( i was DEVASTATED :( she was in such a better position than me, and she could've checkmated me. haha but she didn't see. i managed to exchange all the pieces till there was only my king + her bishop and king. which basically means, draw. i offered draw to her TWICE, and both times, she declined. oh COME ON! you can't win with just bishop and king -.-' so, i tried to win on time XD haha! but the arbiter came, and he told us that it was a draw :/

so, a draw it is.

lunchtime!

we walked all the way to 7-eleven. turns out, hazwan's 'prediction' about kfc was right. there IS a kfc there. ahha unfortunately, i didn't really have the appetite, so i didn't eat. and now i'm hungry :(

after that, went back. checked the pairing. the arbiters made a mistake and listed it as ashman losing the 2nd round. thank god they changed it!

3rd round

this was honestly depressing, so i will only give main points. I HAD ONE MORE MOVE TO CHECKMATE. I WAS UP IN PIECES. and SHE CHECKMATED ME FIRST :( i was focusing on attacking her till i didn't see :(

after that round, i was horribly depressed. as usual, guys being guys, they did tried to pujuk me, going "jas it's alright la, it's just one round" etc etc. but ahha. it didn't work though -.- we were sitting on the road outside the hall. there were pebbles all around me, so i took them and threw them at the guys. i managed to get two into hari's shirt, and i put some in shman's shoe :D i was being so quiet, i think it was a bit creepy. ahha.

4th round

this was nice :) seriously FUNNY. she actually tried to use 4-step on me. LOL I'M NOT THAT SUCKISH ALRIGHT? -.- siao. anyway, plainly said, i won :) ahha.

almost all of the last 3 rounds ended with all of us hanging outside, watching hazwan play -.-' haha. short people see better, hari. short people see better :)

i think ashman, hari, andrew and hazwan are sick of me. i've been hanging around them ALL DAY. actually, every day ever since this chess-craze started. ahha. i bet they're sick of me XD

shman's being creepy. he's been so quiet today, it's scaring me :/
what's more? he has no reason to be sad or anything, he won EVERYTHING. :/

final result:

winnie: 4/4

shaza: 3/4

me: 2.5/4

amirah: 2/4

overall, i think we did quite well :)

i'm not exactly happy with my results. i'm just okay. leaning to unhappy though.
I KEEP THINKING "I COULD'VE DONE BETTER!"

ah well, there's still tmrw. if i wanna reach my goal of 6 points. i can't lose a single game tmrw. that'll be hard :/
my brain's killing me. i might JUST get a headache. PLEASE NO NO NO NO NO HEADACHES! not now!
plus, my legs are killing me. standing around and walking around took its toll on my legs :(
or most probably, i was so nervous, my legs were shaking. my mum said that THAT can cause extreme tiredness. yeah, i guess that's it. my legs are super tired, i can't even walk properly :( ask lynn. ask jannah.

anyway,

congrats, hari, shman, andrew, hazwan! :D

and you guys, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TMRW,

thanks for believing in me, even when i didn't believe in myself.

thanks for teaching me eventhough you were busy with your own trainings.

thanks for staying up SO LATE just to teman me late at night.

thanks for making me laugh whenever i'm disappointed in myself, and trying to pujuk me. although it fails XD

THANKS LOADS ;D

you guys are the best :)

2010-04-04T15:20:00.004+08:00

♥

2010-04-04T12:31:00.006+08:00

you were my first, and i thought you'd be my last
the memories we shared will always be the sweetest
but now i've got to let go of the past
and give the future its chance

i've been carrying regret for too long

i'm tired, and the time has come

to let go, to look back and smile

and eventually, to find the courage to move on

2010-04-04T12:21:00.001+08:00

MSSD IS TMRW! GAH! :/

2010-04-03T22:36:00.003+08:00

if i'm this nervous now, i'm gonna be a wreck on monday :(

2010-04-03T16:04:00.001+08:00

i miss you.
gawd, i really do :(

2010-04-02T19:48:00.000+08:00

frigging ashman and andrew. too busy playing chess to layan me, i see. -.-'
TOO BUSY PLAYING CHESS TO LAYAN ME -.-
sengaja :(

p.s. andrew's sleeping over at ashman's house, that's why it's possible -.-

2010-04-02T18:50:00.001+08:00

chess training at skbj today. it was kinda depressing actually. i could feel my confidence dropping lower and lower, as the coach asked us to do an exercise on 'how to mate in two moves' and i took a really really long time. i didn't get to finish on time :/ and then, he made us play 5 minute blitz. my first reaction was, WTHECK?! I SUCK AT BLITZ, what more 5 MINUTES blitz?! gawddddd. i was against this girl, who was most likely in primary 2 or 3. most probably. and guess what? i made a blunder in the first game, when i could've won. and it became a stalemate. the next game was even more horrible. i lost terribly :( i remember hazwan telling me about the downward spiral. yeah, he was right. and i experienced it just now. i made a blunder, and i lost a piece. immediately, i went distressed and lost EVEN MORE :( sighhh.

thenn, i played with shaza. she made a blunder and i took her queen. after a few moves, I made a blunder, and SHE took MY queen -.-'
siao. i won though :D that lifted my spirits :D

ah well. in the end, there was a match between under 18 and the primary sch team, if i'm not mistaken. we won, thanks to ashman and hari. 4-2 :D

nervous. mssd is in just 2 days :/

AND OH YEAH. I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MC ON MONDAY, BUT BECAUSE OF CHESS, EVO BECAME INSTEAD XD
yeah! :D

2010-04-01T18:23:00.001+08:00

ashman teaching the class about chess on tues;

HAHA XD

2010-04-01T18:03:00.001+08:00

31st March 2010 (drafted yesterday) XD
on chess.com just now, hazwan challenged me to a 10-minute game. 10 minutes for each player. ashman told me to go for it, cause he told me that he'd guide me the whole way. omg haha, hazwan actually believed that it was really me playing! i'm like, wth? how can you believe that?! I'M SO FRIGGING SLOW, and i ain't that good. haha, i actually made a blunder, cause i didn't get to hear what ashman was telling me clearly enough. but we still won :)

at the end of the game, hari, hazwan and i chatted for a while. heee hazwan admitted that he made blunders and bla bla bla. i was laughing with shman the whole way. it's funny! and then, hazwan asked if i was still pissed at him for what he did in the morning, which was put BOTH HARI AND ASHMAN'S MATH TEXTBOOKS into my bag. heavy okay?! i didn't realise until after sch, when my bag was so terribly heavy. thank god i opened and checked, or else i would've got back pain, and i'll be stunted for every :( and somemore they took the chess book that hari lent me and put it into hari's bag. i was so frigging scared that i lost it. gr.

back to the match. well, hari was watching and he was SHOCKED :O and so, he challenged me -.- didn't wanna play, but again, ashman told me to accept the challenge, so i did. lol haha again, hari was SHOCKED XD he was like 'jas you improved so much!' heeeeeeee. i didn't, ashman was helping me the whole way. again, made a blunder when i couldn't hear ashman clearly. but in the end, we still won :D haha.

actually, ashman was the one who won both games. i just moved the pieces for him. he thought of all the moves.

frigging gay lah -.- hazwan and hari really believed that i was the one playing. come on, HAZWAN, since when have i been a fast player?! i can't play 10 minutes, I'LL DIE. and hari, come on lah -.- since when have i been so good? i'd never get to beat you guys -________________- and yet, they're so stuuuu that they really believed it's me. they're gonna go to sch tmrw and say loads of stuff like 'omg jas beat me yesterday', 'she's improved', 'confirm can get top 10 mssd' and stuffs like that. at least, that's what hari'll say.

1st April :)

HAHA THIS MUST BE THE AWESOMEST APRIL FOOL'S EVER! XD together, ashman and i managed to do 3 pranks. the first one was the one we did to hari yesterday. the rest were to hazwan and hari:

in sch today, ashman pretended to be REAL SHOCKED that i beat hari and hazwan. he kept repeating 'i can't believe you lost to jas!' until hari got sick of convincing him. kuok fong challenged me to a game, and i beat him :D gosh, i was shocked. yet happy :) i can't believe i can actually beat people now -.- siao -.- and thennnnn. uh oh yeah, hari challenged me, so to show him that i can really do it and to teach him NOT TO LOOK DOWN ON ME, ashman made a plan. he pretended to take notations, while actually he gave me the moves. which means, he wrote the moves on the notation paper BEFORE i even moved. HAHA :) had to sneak looks at the paper, and i wonnnn. haha. hari was in shock. real shock. he actually realised that i kept looking at the notation paper, but he didn't realise that anything was wrong -.- typical hari. he was so depressed on the way to chemistry lab, that ashman decided to tell him the truth. siao one lah hari. well, we teached him a lesson. DO NOT LOOK DOWN ON YOUR OPPONENT ;D haha. and then, ashman decided to teach hazwan the same lesson -.- pft -.- and so, i frigging had to challenge hazwan. of course, hazwan accepted. and FRIGGING ASHMAN RILED HIM UP SO BAD -.-

came for koko, went up to class, and played against hazwan. again, ashman did the same thing, but this time - hari, sehran and andrew helped to distract hazwan :D lol. first round, i lost. and second round, i won. :D hazwan was busy SLAMMING the pieces, trying to intimidate me. lol. it was funny. i wasn't even scared, cause ashman was the one playing. heeeee :D

I WONNNN. actually, ashman did. haha. hazwan was, i don't know, he didn't seem THAT shocked. not like hari. he was stunned till he was :( the whole time -_________________________-

ah well, we told him then. haha funny :) i can't really remember hazwan's reaction though. all i remember is the game i played with sehran after that, which i won :) without anyone helping. i'm so proud of myself, and i know ashman and hari are too. like ashman said, "i'm SO PROUD of my protege/baby" LOL? XD

chess IS kinda fun, but it tires out your brain. my mind's so slow right now -.-

what else ah? ummm umm. SEJ PRESENTATION = lynn and mine, success. hari and ashman = fail. TOTAL FAIL. those two guys didn't even MEMORIZE their points -.- EVEN THOUGH I TOLD THEM TO. GR. and thus, hari couldn't present half of the sistem kabilah thing, and i had to take over. grrrrrr. i looked like a tard, since i didn't really know much about it -.-

'no matter how short your opponent is, or how cuteeee, do not underestimate' XD

- ashman to hari

i know i'm cute :D

2010-03-31T21:28:00.002+08:00

during bio, ashman and hari told me that tiha wanted to re-join the chess competition. so, i had to play against another girl, shaza, to secure a spot on the under 18 girls team. i was so pissed and hurt :(
i was scared :( if i don't get to beat shaza, then all my hard work will go to waste :(
then, during math (teacher didn't come in) ashman wrote on his test pad, "jas, i lied. tmrw's april fool's. tell hari that you're quitting chess tmrw." at first, i misunderstood, so i went "WHAT?!" and hari heard. he tried to get the test pad, but ashman managed to put him off the track :D so in the end, tak jadi. i told ashman to go to beta, and there, he explained. he's kind of backstabbing hari. heh. but as he was a FREAK to lie to me, i gave him a HUGE SLAP ;O
shman, if you're reading this, which i know you will, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU DID TO ME?! i was frigging scared, you freak! i was half depressed. -.-

anyway, just now, we actually put our plan into action. but for some reason, ashman wanted us to do it today. so, we did. and it was a success. haha basically i just had to tell hari that i decided to quit chess, because i didn't wanna compete with that shaza. and haha hari and ashman HAD TO TELL me that they were lying, and i didn't have to compete with her after all (which i already know). and then, i just had to act pissed :D lynn and jannah got into the act too (: gosh, there were so many convos that the laptop was so slow -.- so, there were andrew, me, jannah, lynn, ashman and most importantly, hari. i think i actually made hari quite depressed when i acted pissed with him and ashman. haha ashman was typical with his 'SORRRRRRRRRY' -.- mengada.
jannah helped loads, as she seriously rubbed it in XD heeeeee :)

oh and i have awesome news. i played against some random guy, and hari's brother, dayallen, on chess.com just now. and guess what? I WON BOTH XD yay! :D unbelievable. the first guy was without help, but heeee i got some hints from ashman against dayallen :P heeeee. OMG I JUST BEATED A GUY ON MY OWN XD i was gila estatic seh. i was in a call with ashman on msn, and i just almost yelled. it was kinda a squeal. AHHA I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW :)

maybe training hard like crap really did pay off :)

p.s. that post just now was fake. it was to make hari even more guilty. XD

2010-03-31T17:57:00.000+08:00

I'M SO PISSED. i never expected that you guys would sanggup do this to me :(

as usual, i'm so easily tricked. fine.
i've made my decision. i'm quitting. goodbye, late nights till 12. PRACTISING CHESS.
goodbye, killing my brain to try and analyze movements.

GOODBYE!

this is all your faults. i told you, if you lied, i WOULD NEVER TALK TO YOU GUYS EVER AGAIN.
you promised me it wasn't a lie. and you did.
so, see if i KEEP MY PROMISE TO YOU GUYS.

2010-03-30T23:16:00.001+08:00

lol funny :) shman was trying to show me where to get to watch hari playing XD
funny the way he drew it XD
left - chess board
right - chatbox

chess.com :D

2010-03-30T19:28:00.001+08:00

during bm today, teacher was teaching komsas - PEMAIN CATUR XD heeeee. we weren't paying attention at all -.- hari and i were trying to ignore ashman for the rest of the day, but it kinda failed -.- oh, and the most hilarious thing - teacher called on ashman to EXPLAIN ABOUT CHESS! XD it was hilarious. ashman drew the chess board, and we complained that he didn't put in the black and white squares. he put in initials of the pieces, and we asked what the initials were XD
here's what ashman said:

p - pawn / askar

r - rook / istana. LOL XD

b - bishop / paderi

k - knight / kuda

HAHA LOL. and somemore we asked him to draw the pieces. but he only drew the pawn and the rook :( and he also explained how the pieces moved. haha, hari and i were laughing so hard xD

oh and FRIGGING HARI AND ASHMAN. they splashed water on each other until my skirt and my bag got wet -.-' it all started with ashman kicking hari's leg, since we were ignoring him. and then, hari took his bottle and poured water on ashman's foot. and thus, the water fight started. and i, the innocent person, got wet as well :(

skipped kpa, and instead trained chess with hari, ashman, andrew, sehran and hazwan. i actually played a 15 minute per player game with sehran, the time limit decided by hari and ashman. I HAD NO SAY. it was scary, i was so nervous :/ ish. and i kept forgetting about to PRESS THE CLOCK. there was one time, that i REALLY didn't realise -.-' it was gay -.-' sehran put on an act, as though he wasn't sure what to move. after about, um, 5 minutes? or maybe more? i started thinking "takkan la sehran's so slow" and i looked at the clock. immediately, i went "crap!" i didn't press, and i'd lost so much time -.-'

hee. anyway, i WAS WINNING. SHOCKING :O and NO ONE HELPED. :D maybe my training has paid off! or maybe sehran just made loads of blunders -.- anyway, i'm happy for myself (:
unfortunately, though, i lost on time. and being nervous didn't help. ashman and hari didn't help either, they just made me even more nervous by going "2 MORE MINUTES!" (hari) and "DON'T THINK TOO LONG, JAS! YOUR TIME!" (ashman). that certainly didn't help -.-

after that, hazwan and andrew helped me pick openings and gave me some tips :)
for more info, go here

what would i do without you guys?

the most annoying part is when ashman and hari, especially, do the square shape camera thingy with their fingers, point it at me, and go, "WAKIL SEKOLAH". it's embarassing, especially when they do it in front of random people -.- and they have been doing it ever since i managed to get in -___________-

anyway, i resolve to get rid of my current pissiness. might as well be happy, right? :) as hurt as i am, being happy is still more important. like i said, be brave, put on a smile, and face the world :D

2010-03-29T17:30:00.000+08:00

sometimes you've just gotta get up, be brave, put on a smile, and go out and brave the world.

somehow it seems as though i always repeat those same actions.

2010-03-29T16:57:00.003+08:00

they say a picture paints a thousand words. right now i see a picture of FLAMES. burning flames of anger, flames of hurt. rising higher and higher every second.

2010-03-29T15:50:00.000+08:00

ashman and hari tried to teach me blind chess today. blind chess - playing chess without using a board, and pieces, just by using your MIND -.-
can die -.- my brain must've been fried.

T_T
i hope time passes real slowly. next monday should be a LONGGGG LONGGG time to go.

2010-03-28T20:29:00.000+08:00

during taekwando just now, we had to practice moving forward and kicking, and pulling back and kicking, using target. PFT black belts and red belts had to do JUMPING FRONT KICK, JUMPING TURNING KICK, JUMPING BACKTHRUST, AND SWING KICK. GR! when i did the LAST swing kick, as i did the swing part, i fell. turned to swing, and FELL. ON ONE SIDE OF MY ASS. IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. EMBARASSING! :(

and then, sir actually made us do free sparring. 2 vs 1 :D awesum! reminds me of gangster fights in taekwando during primary school. ashni, yashini, and me were in one group. damn funny XD we did stupid stuff, like pretending there were guns, and dancing night fever XD hahaa! lol and we named ourselves the charlie angels :D

haha. i'm starting to really enjoy taekwando. heh and waruna had to run THOUSANDS of rounds back and forth just now. PADAN MUKA XD

2010-03-28T10:36:00.002+08:00

i hate the feeling where you like someone, yet know that he's not right for you. and knowing that he'll never feel the same way about you.

2010-03-27T23:50:00.001+08:00

ashman, hari, andrew, hazwan, sehran,

i owe you guys LOADS! ;D

2010-03-27T18:47:00.001+08:00

jason had his operation at 1.30, and it was a success. it was just a minor operation. and see? my prayers have been answered :)

2010-03-27T12:53:00.001+08:00

my mum dropped me at lynn's house at 7 this morning, cause she had to go to the hospital, and couldn't send me to sch at 7.30. heh :) lynn's grandma sent us to sch at around 7.30, and only hari and andrew were there -.-'

at 8, was supposed to go for chess training till 10. but we never did make it for the hosting course after 10 :D
thank you to andrew and hazwan who helped me :) oh and after everyone left, there was just me, hari, and ashman. those two guys, trained me like crazy -.-' it was kinda hilarious, cause we pretended that there was a clock, and we had to tick the moves on a piece of paper. fake clock, fake paper XD haha :) and they also tried to teach me about the notation stuffs. which is kinda easy, after you get the hang of it. ashman tried tricking me by NOT pressing his clock, but he gave it away by trying to stifle his laughter, but failing :) whats more, he ABUSED the clock. ABUSEDDDDDDDDDD it. :O

thank you to hari and ashman, too :) you guys are awesome! all of you!

tried to play a round with ashman, but FAILED. around mid-game, sehran and hari took over -.-' i didn't even know what was going on -.-' see how badly i must've sucked? after ashman went home, hari and i played a round, which i think, i would've lost. TERRIBLY. if hari didn't try to help me.

oh and you guys, thanks for the books and the cd too! :D
i owe you guys loadssssss :)

oh and i'm not pissed with you anymore. heh.

2010-03-26T23:05:00.004+08:00

just. admit. it.
will you?

depressed + depressed = terribly depressed.

sigh :(

2010-03-26T18:25:00.000+08:00

i practically wasted 2 hours of my time.

andrew, hari, and hazwan, thanks for salvaging it :)

you guys are the best <3

don't you just hate people who don't keep their promises?

2010-03-25T22:44:00.000+08:00

during physics tuition just now:

teacher: find 10 sin 60 / 20 sin 30, etc

us: *calculating*

teacher: gives the right answer without even using the calculator

O_O

lynn's reaction:

my reaction :D

haha :)

--------------------------------------------

and thenn:

teacher: find cos 90

jas: *calculating and pressing the = button repeatedly*

WHY CANNOT WAN?

WHY AIN'T THE ANSWER COMING OUT?!

teacher: the answer is 0 right?

PFFFFFFFT -.-

2010-03-25T19:36:00.000+08:00

THIS.

2010-03-25T18:30:00.000+08:00

see that? my name is THERE! ;D elora and i completed painting the skyline scene at the back of the class during pj today :) we did the windows, the yellow parts there :D i'm happy that i actually did something more to help, as i didn't really do much last time. i feel much better (:

ashman and hari persuaded me to join the selection for the mssd chess competition, as they said that i was okay, and it was easy for girls, because not many girls are interested in chess, and the girls that do join, they don't have the skills -.- thenn, sehran and andrew started saying that i had the skills, and that i had the mindpower. you guys can't possibly be serious. I SUCK. honestly saying, i think the only time that i was really good in chess was in form 2. too bad, ashman missed it :D haha! i played chess EVERY DAY. with nafis, kamal, hazwan, amir and etc. during that time, i actually won against hari, kamal, amir, kuok fong, and mostly, NAFIS XD heh heh. good times. i remember lynn was always pissed at me during those times, cause every time she wanted to talk to me, i would be playing chess. it all started with nafis- "JAS DO YOU WANT TO PLAY CHESS?" and gah, there started my obsession. which ended in form 3. and thus, i suck. but still, i took the bait, and i joined.

each team can only have 4 people. as it turns out, there were only 4 under 18 girls, so all of us automatically got in. yay! :D now ashman has to train me for mssd. he promised :)
it was boring, so i played chess with jannah, and i won :) hahaaa. but i made so many careless mistakes -.- played with sarah after that, ASHMAN'S PROTEGE ;D and haha, it was a draw :D

i went home at 4.30, and from what i knew, ashman got 3 1/2 points and andrew got 3 points out of 4, and they're definitely going through. congrats, you two! :D

oh and there's a course on hosting tmrw. i'm going! it's about being hosts to exchange students or other people and bringing them around and stuff like that. 8-12, and it's on saturday too. sigh.

somemore at 3.30 tmrw, i'm gonna go to sch again. they're having selection for the under 15 group for the chess for mssd, but there's going to be a coach. i'm definitely going :D

oh well, i'm gonna have to train LOADS. the competition is on the 5th of april.

gosh, THAT EARLY?! oh well, i gtg.

bye :)

2010-03-24T17:48:00.000+08:00

today, lynn, jannah, ashman and hari went for audition for the english drama competition. i wanted to join, but oh well. my mum used reverse psychology on me, so. sigh :(

oh well. during bio today, we went to the lab cause we were supposed to do an experiment on observing plant cells in hypotonic, hypertonic, and isotonic solutions. ahha. we only managed to do one, because ashman and hari suddenly just got the idea to catch an ant, put in under the slide, and view it through the microscope. it was so grossssss -.- ew. i could actually see the hairs on its legs, and it was trying so hard to wiggle out, i almost felt bad for it -.-' thenn, we started taking random stuff to view under the microscope. it was like in high definition HD! XD ahha. we took ashman's skin, zee's scar, *ashman's ......, my hair and lynn's hair :)

SKINS AND SCARS ARE GROSS. THEY'RE BROWN AND THEY LOOK SO DISGUSTINGGGG -.- oh and teacher actually viewed the zee's scar -.- or was it ashman's skin? i'm not sure. heh :D

ahha and my hair is BROWN! awesomeeeee :D lynn's is seriously jet black. there's not even a trace of black :O awesome right? :D heh heh. and our hair is healthy :) there's no breaks or whatever they call it in the tv commercials -.-

we can make our own commercial :

'to get FREE hair check ups, and to know your REAL hair colour, come visit us!' haha XD

ahha. oh and i remember, on monday, ashman was trying so hard to crack his leg XD haha. he was doing it during salasiah's class somemore -.- he wanted to crack it since early morning but it just wouldn't crack. pitaaaaaaay. not really xD it was funny! haha, sorry shman :D

gotta do sej project, gah! oh and gotta plan the english drama as well. sighhh :/

i wanna sleep, i'm so tired :(

liverpool vs man utd

2010-03-21T23:47:00.000+08:00

after such a perfect 5th minute header goal by torres, everything went wrong. and you guessed it. liverpool lost :(

sighhhhhhh.

oh well, there's still next time :(

2010-03-21T21:06:00.000+08:00

this might be a really long depressing rambling post, so i suggest you don't read it. read at your own risk.

the one thing i really hate about my parents, is how much they're not satisfied with me, and everything i do. they don't appreciate the person that i am, and they only like certain parts and aspects of me. but as a parent, i think that you should accept your child as they are. i mean, if your child is horrible and mean and does EVIL things, you shouldn't just let him be. but if he/she is alright, and isn't BAD at all, why not just look at the more positive side? my parents mostly focus on my bad traits, and not on my good traits. what they never realise is, my good traits, when compared to my bad traits, THERE'S TONS MORE TO MY GOOD TRAITS THAN MY BAD TRAITS. they always dwell on the negative, and they almost NEVER see the positive. UGH.

when i was younger, i used to tell my parents about my friend's parents, like 'they don't do this' or 'they do that'. things that my parents do that i feel ain't right. and then they'll tell me that 'if you like them so much why not take them as your parents instead?'

right now, my parents are NEVER SATISFIED with anything i do. my room is too messy, i don't help out enough at home, and i waste too much time, ETC. PLEASEEEE. my room is alright, it's just books strewn on the floor. i help out SO DAMMIT MUCH and it's not like you see. i barely have time to do my own stuff, like my homework. sometimes, i've gotta stay up till 12 to do just SOME of my HUGE LOAD of homeworks. and WASTE TIME? I DON'T EVEN HAVE THE TIME TO WATCH TV! what's more? they say this out in front of my relatives just do make me feel bad, and they compare me to other people. WELL, I'M SORRY I CAN'T REACH YOUR QUALIFICATIONS! can't you just accept me for who i am?! everyone else does! instead of comparing those stuff, why not compare other stuff like (i'm sorry to bring this up) my results and how much i try to study?! i'm sorry, but usually people they compare me to are the ones who spend their whole lifetimes sitting in front of the comp or the tv, and just abandon their studies. find someone who excels in everything, and i'll CHANGE. meanwhile, if you're not happy with me, why not just take that kid instead?!

oh and my dad, he ALWAYS simply blames and yells at me for stuff that I DIDN'T DO. when i try to explain, he says stuff like, 'shut up and don't give excuses' or 'DON'T ANSWER BACK'. this isn't answering back, it isn't even an excuse. it's called an EXPLANATION. and when he realises he's wrong, he doesn't make it right. he doesn't apologize or anything. he just acts as though nothing's happened.

we were at the pasar malam just now, and my dad was leaving. my mum and my grandma were still there, and my grandma was alone. my mum was nowhere to be seen. so i told him that i'd wait for my mum and grandma. he started yelling about me being stupid, and he told jason that he wanted to SLAP ME. i have no idea what i did wrong. i think that waiting wasn't a bad thing, it was a good thing.

if anything i say or do offends you, FINE! i won't bother talking to you, then. i did it once, and i'll do it again. as long as you stay that way, i'm gonna continue not talking to you. it's not gonna hurt me, instead, i won't be the victim of you anymore.

god, what have i ever done to deserve this? :(

according to you

i'm stupid, i'm useless

i can't do anything right

IT'S NO WONDER I TURN TO MY FRIENDS FOR EVERYTHING.